In rage'd
I’ve been grouchy. Really grouchy.
I’m not apologizing for it. I’m not ashamed of it. I’m not afraid of it. At least not any longer. There was a time where I buried my anger deep inside. It’s what we’re trained to do.
Smile.
Don’t complain. Stay positive.
Be a good little human and play nice with others.
No wonder therapists are so busy. They are one of the last few safe havens where people can unburden themselves of their anger—where it is ok to speak openly without fear of judgement, reprisal, admonishment, guilt, shame and—the big one—blame.
Like Poison
Anger has been fitted with a black hat and grouped with all the other things we’ve decided are the worst parts of humanity—like poison and poverty. So you had better bottle it up lest it is seen and censured—then kept in quarantine until there’s proof that it’s cured and others are safe from catching it.
Anger has been suppressed by so many of us for so long that it’s considered strange and unusual behaviour. One that needs “management”. I’m talking about anger here—not violence that’s results from anger or arises from suppressing it. Anger needs to be expressed. If it’s buried, it builds until it explodes.
Primal Response
The truth is anger is actually a normal human emotion. It is a part of our grief cycle—so it is inevitable. With all that happens in our world, grief is a common experience—personally and collectively. It’s also part of another common human response—the fight, flight, freeze or fawn reaction to danger and trauma.
When we are in these deep emotional states, it’s not just anger we feel, it’s rage. Rage that is part of a primal, natural, vital and protective biological response. As a highly sensitive person, I came to understand this when it happened enough times that I saw a pattern.
A signal
I first noticed it when every time a certain family friend would visit I would become extremely irritable—bordering on rage. And though my response never went beyond grouchiness, I would then feel guilt, remorse, shame and blame. Later I would find out that this person was wearing a fragrance that my body was reacting to. The rage was a natural defence mechanism designed to keep me safe.
This rage emerged every time I was exposed to certain chemicals. It became a signal to me that there was a toxin in my environment and gave me time to make myself safe before my body was affected. When I paid attention and listened to my body, like I do to the crystals, I found wisdom and power. I discovered that my body was always working to stay in harmony.
The sheer power of it
Rage is protective. When we are unconscious of that, the sheer magnitude of power behind this very intense emotion can be overwhelming. It can be easier and definitely less uncomfortable to bury it. We can only avoid it for so long. Eventually it will seep out in insidiously noxious ways or bursts out in potentially dangerous ways—leaving us feeling drained and very alone.
When you become conscious of why rage shows up and the ways it rises in you, there is the potential to tap into an enormous amount of power and energy. Power that can be used to heal, to transform stagnation and even to spark innovation or revolution.
So how do you extract the power from rage in a constructive rather than destructive way?
Awareness is the beginning. Knowing the body and the self is key in harnessing its power. Once you are safe, creativity is a beautiful outlet for rage. Of course, crystals are incredible sources of strength for us when dealing with power. Just consider the way that they are created—from extreme pressure, heat, turbulence, and of course time.
Two crystals were singing for us
I listened for volunteers to help us transform rage to inner power and Monk Crystals and Snakeskin Agate answered the call...
Monk Crystals
Tibetan quartz Crystals, hand harvested by monks. Someone in the crystal community was wanting to connect with one but they had been hiding at the time. She reached back out and asked if I’d found the “Monk” Crystals yet and now that’s what I call them. It makes so much sense that these crystals would be helpful in learning how to stay in peaceful presence while holding great a powerful energy in the body.
Snakeskin Agate
Any crystal with animal presence and energy could be a good ally in drawing constructive from rage but the snakeskin agate were the ones singing. There is big magic in these stone beings—especially the 13 which visited me in my dream. If you’ve ever held one, you know that snakes are such peaceful creatures. They’ve been as demonized as anger has.
A gift from Anger
A dear friend wrote a powerful poem and generously offered to share it with our community. This is a beautiful sample of tapping into anger to spark creative expression and a beautiful ending to our discussion (the cherry).
Sister fire-eater
Anger burns like fire
Eternally blazes
Flaring up when least expected
Roars uncontrollably
Instantaneously erupts
Fills my being
Flames through my core
Takes me over
Cuts like a knife
Cracklings disturb the blackened smoke
Squelch it
Scorching inferno
And Inward it burns
Flammable aggression ignites
Adds fuel to abusive hazardously toxic roaring combustion
Sister Fire-eater…. treat it tenderly
Be still with it
Feel it
Fan it
Use it
Tend to it
Tame and contain it with patience and understanding
Anger burns like fire
Eternally blazes
Flaring up when least expected
Roars uncontrollably
Instantaneously erupts
Written by Nadine Rapps
February 2020